Life Lessons: Ellen and Montse
Together
they’re going to break the cycle. Little Sister Montse is going to be the first
in her family to finish high school, with her Big Sister’s help. It’s a goal
that has faced more than one challenge as Montse has moved to two new schools
in the past two years.
“The
first move was difficult, but Montse was younger and she adapted quickly,” Big
Sister Ellen said. “But the second move occurred right before her freshman year
of high school. It was a shock because she was set to go to the school where
her friends were going. She found out a few days before school started that she
was going to be moving to a charter school that had different rules, that she
would have to wear a uniform, and that she didn’t quite “click” with the people
there.” Ellen
helped Montse focus on the positive aspects of the move and talked with her
about her concerns. “I talked with her a lot. It’s definitely been harder for
her at this new school, but she will come out on top,” Ellen remarked.
“Montse’s a wonderful person. We have goal-setting sessions once in a while and
her number one goal is always to graduate from high school. It’s very important
to her.”
Part
of that motivation comes from hanging out with her Big Sister. “I don’t think
she would have had the support to do as well as she’s doing in school without a
Big Sister,” Ellen admitted. “It’s not my telling her what to do. It’s just
hanging out with me and knowing that I went to college and that I make
decisions for myself.” Having Ellen as a role model has helped Montse avoid
making the same choices her female relatives made when they dropped out of
school.
“Doing
something different is hard. It raises a lot of questions and uncertainty, but
she is persevering,” Ellen said. “Montse is very artistic and wants to pursue
her interest in special effects makeup. I have a movie producer friend who has
a studio for that type of thing and we’re going to take a tour.”
Special
activities like this and other outings with her Big Sister provide Montse with
positive ways to escape the stresses of her day-to-day world. “Technically,
she’s homeless. Her family is living with her aunt and cousins, and I know
that’s hard. She shares a room with two other girls which is not conducive to
getting homework done,” Ellen added. “We take breaks by going hiking, walking
dogs, and volunteering.”
It’s
this time together and the small things in their relationship that seem to have
the biggest impact. “Things that I don’t think are of importance, Montse learns
from and internalizes. She sees that even the small decisions I’ve made in my
life have made a difference and impacted my happiness, and she emulates that,”
Ellen said. “But Montse also teaches me new things every single time we meet.
I’ve grown exponentially because of her influence on me.”
“I
work for a non-profit and we do good things for lots of people, but I never
understood the importance of making an impact on one person’s life so deeply
until I became involved with BBBS. Realizing that the smallest things I do or
say have such a huge impact on someone else – that’s why I’ve done this for 3
years and it’s why I will never stop being Montse’s Big Sister,” Ellen
concluded.
“People
want to save the world, but I think helping one person is so much more
powerful. I can’t save the world, but I can help Montse change hers… and that’s
significant.”
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